im pissed?? or feeling great?

well, to start off this post, let me bring uu guys back to monday night....

I was working on my 3D project, the FaceLift project, and at about 2.30 to 3am, I was feeling extremely hungry, so thought of grabbing a bite somewhere, when i just reach the lift lobby, the rain started to pour on me, i was like, wat the hell....

Anyway, since i bought my PSP down with me, and i dun feel like going up again, and later coming down, i sat at my void deck at 3am and played my psp whiole waiting for the rain to stop, True enough, after 3 matches on Winning Eleven, the rain stopped, i quickly made my way to the 7-11 nearby and bought a cup noodle and greentea, by the time i got back into my room, the time was like 4.32am... i was like wasted lotsa time, so i quickly set down to do work, but was feeling extremely sleepy, so i took a nap at ard 5am, wanted to wake at 6am and do, but who knows, my alarm din ring, ( or was it me who never wake up???)....

Anyway, thanks Hazel for giving me the morning call, otherwise, god knows till wat time i will be sleeping.....hahahaha...

Anyway, i woke a 7.30am and continued on my face, by the time was like 8.30, i quickly packed and bath and cleaned up eerything and step out of the house, it was already 9.30am, seeing that its like im late for Grey Matters for half an hour, i quickly rush to school.

When i reach Bugis MRT station, i ran all the way to school, breaking one of the strap of my bag along the way, and guess wat, when i arrived in school, i found the whole class missing...it seems like they went to mount emily to get inspirations....xians, i walked back out of the school, and went to the nearby kopi tiam to do work till 3D starts, and i guess around that time, someone was pissed off at me...for some reasons, which is not my fault...Anyway, all of our faces was again rejected, like the EGG project, so we have to show that Leo again next week.

Today lesson was on casting the plaster bandage, we had fun bandaging and casting our friends hand in class, the plaster is super cold as it starts to hardened, its like cold till ur hand goes numb..But anyway, it was fun....

this is such a super long post, and i feel like im so unlucky or down today siaaa....hahahx.
anyway, look out for the next post people!!!

cheerios!

finally, after so long, she talk to me, the 'she' in this post in not the same as the 'she' in the previous post...this 'she' was also quite important to me once.....
hahahahs....anyway, damn glad she finally speak to me again...thank god....

anyway, my life in entering another leap too...as im preparing myself to take greater challenge in life....thanks evil zel, for cheering me up when im down, uu are super cute la!!!!
hahahahas.....thanks!!! thanks for being there!!!

chionging the 3D Facelift now at 1am, still like 2 or 3 more hrs to go la....
hahahahs...pray for me ppl!!!

reopening...

oks, after such a long time, i finally bring myself back to blogging...
seriously, my life now is in a mess, faith???where it gone???
i seriously need to rearrange my life, priority and 2nd important things need to be clarified...
sometimes feels like really wearing a mask everywhere i go....
well, its all up to choices aint it???

It's been wat? 10 mths now??? bt she still pops into my mind now and then.... the things is, i dunno whether is hate or love...bt jus that whenever she is in my head, i misses her terribly....

school life is fun but tiring....i enjoy it without complaints but just that i need 48hrs a day!!!!!
hahax...

well, since now it's officially open, support it brothers and sisters!!!

Its been long and tough...

I'm back after taking leave from blogspot.com for 5mths..
Stuffs have been rather tough and rocky for me, Church Life, Working Life, Social Life, Love Life, Too Hectic...
The only peice of good news currently is that I'm finally able to go and further my studies after so long, and so many fights and quarrels with my parents.I guess it's all His will???
Well. still gotta Thank Him anyway.
For those who might still be interested in what happen to me and her, well, the only thing I have to say is, Totally ended. It ended actually since Last Dec, but well, the emotional me, can't let go when I thought I can, actually thought that there would still be chance that we might be able to talk closely like last time, but well, Now I know that She is a very strong gal, and when she said it, she will do it.What can I do but let go too then, Thanks guys for the time spent listening to all my nonsense and sharing my emoness with me.
Church Life, Busy busy busy are the three words use to described it, bu well, with His strength, I'm able to do it!hahaha!
Working Life and Social Life not bad, just nowadays sleazy little bit lazy to do stuffs, just like to hang around in front of the Com and just surf, facebook, blogs, MSN, all the other craps.Sort of like wasting my life away I guess, just doesn't feel like wanna do anything.
Well, spent half a day yesterday with my Ex-Girlfriend from my secondary school days, because of her birthday. I guess she was quite happy that I really came and met her, and also gave her a surprise..wahaha, I guess I'm still quite attractive in a way???
hahx...
Im actually halfway in the office working now, and blogging and chatting on MSN...wahaha, but got to go, I wonder when will my next post be...muahaha...
ciaoz people..

hahax..

well,the story continues...my 3rd day at IPK....still sit down there and keep reading all those stuffs..well,learn more stuffs today,and i personally requested to follow the team leader down to NTU and NIE tomorrow!!!
yes!!
he will be going to NTU to demo a unit...a JK audio Bluepack...used for on field interviews..a more professional tool for interviewers,equipped with XLRs inputs and outputs,for mic and headphone stereo..it will connect bluetooth wirelessly to ur handphone and the phone will automatically call back to the recording studio..normally in situations when interviewers have to interview somebody,they will have to pick up a call from the recording studio through their handphone,and the interview is recorded through the handphone..with the new JK AUDIO Bluepack series,it will be more professional for the interview to stand there with the strap on bluepack with a mic input connected and stereo headphones connected..woahh..infos infos infos..hahax...
the link for the complete information: http://www.jkaudio.com/bluepack.htm

well,saw an old friend again today...limze,found out dat he broke up with fiona last year march...to think back,they were so loving last time..well,limze changed alot too,but stil the same,likes to brag..talk alot of crap to me...yea..he is funny..
well..on the webcam with someone now...reali tired,i should reali force myself to sleep earlier next time la..hahax..i still have to go find time to get a present for sumone..hahx..secret..
but anyway..the company just got a new machine coming in..Its called a CD DESTROYER...perfect for situations where uu have CDs that stored alot of P&C stuffs and and uu need to get rid of it..but uu cant get rid of it completely...so uu will have to use CD DESTROYER,it will completely erase all of the data in ur written CD or DVD..its great isnt it..and my boss put me incharge of the hospital area where he plan to launch this machine..so..weipeng,wenjiuan...im coming..ask ur boss to take out his wallet..hahax..
alright..still on the webcam with the someone..going to sleep soon..dats all people...nitez..

2nd day..

well,today was my 2nd day,everything is still going well,spent 1 whole day reading up all the info's about the reference monitors,didnt move,from 8.30am,all the way right up to 5.30pm...
well,i learn quite alot..but its boring la...and oh ya,i found the person im looking for alrd..
hahx..mysterious...bought 2 new working shoes..RM120 for 2...its cheap la..
on sales...everything going at 70% discount...hahx..great..
well,anyway,saw a few ppl from church in city square today..
first was biscuit(shopping alone??)
then the long lost jian xiong(went to buy newspaper with a lady??)
then caleb and see hwee on their car(think caleb went to fetch see hwee from the customs)..
hahax..
coincidence...
well,times up,its late..
nitez people...

woah..

woah man..i started my first day of work in IPK broadcast systems today..
i hell load of things ive to learn and get used to man..
things ive never heard before...
like reference monitors,silence detectors,distributor amplifyers,etc.
products from SOLIFEX,WOHLER,IRT,etc..
reali alot man...
wow,i also visited the SUN YAT SEN museum on my first day of work!!
im too service this cilent next time everymonth,so i went there for a short tour of the place and also familarise with the equipments that i have to service and maintain..
im excited for more!!
i think im gonna tour MEDIACORP soon this week..hahx..
well,as i was bathing just now,i remembered some one asking for mccafe..
dunno whether to get it or not..
hahx..
well,its late,gotta wake up at 5am i the morn..
ciaoz people..

its just for you..

Well,its been a long time since i Really spoke to you,i guess ive finally found a way to just depened on God and not only uu...
anyway...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Sweet 17th to uu ya!!!
DRAW NEARER TO GOD IN THIS NEW YEAR!!!
UU ARE STILL THE BEST!!!
KEEP IT UP AND JIAYOU!!!

HAHAX,i do hope uu will see this,anyway,i still cares,alot...
reali do smile much much more,dun care so much about wat others are saying..but just go on forward and do what uu are supposed to do ya..uu are able to do it,coz uu are BBLIOW..kambateh!!!

lost in the wilderness???

wilderness....
the feeling of being lost....
i guess im lost in the wilderness already...
i just dont like this kind of feelings,when uu dont even know wat to do to urself..
when everything,everybody around uu seems dark,when uu just feel so alone,so lonely..
there is so much tension around uu,uu dun even trust the voices that keeps echoing around uu,around ur ears..
uu just hope to just simply falls into a dark pit and hides,hide from all the darkness,from all the voices,from all the glaring eyes,from all the feeling of lonliness,from uu urself..
i guess these is what im feeling right now..
being lost somewhere in the wilderness...

ive already apologised,ive done all i could,just so that we could go back to where we were before,but no,no,no....i really dont know what else can i do,just hope that we were like before,where uu would share ur problems with us,and i would share with uu..

i guess im feeling pretty bad these few weeks,no more strength in myself,so much so much have been happening,really feel like giving up sometimes,give up on everything..im really sorry for being so depressed here on my blog,but readers here,if uu are a christian,do keep me in ur prayers yea..i guess im picking myself up slowly,but i do need time y'all know..

hahax,gotta go mope over somethings again...
ciaoz...

have i decided?

haiz..
life is full of ups and downs...
sumwhere in the middle of it,uu may find a way out,bt sumtimes we juz may have to continue living through it and faced our biggest giants in the end....
have i really decided??
this question caused a lot of problems in my life....
decided is the word..
because of this word..alot of problems surfaced..
between me n my friends,between me n her..
is that really what she wants??
is it really what she wants..??
maybe she does not wants it,but god??
uu want it?
well,my heart is still pain and hurt,i guess i already cannot tell her this,cause she will pekcek in the end...well,i can only let my sorrows pour into this blog...
when i see her with him..
my heart..sour,pain,hurt,torn...
bt she said..:"we are SURE.."
ok....
anyway,whether im pain or not,she will no longer care,why?because she say clearly alrd,let god take away,den return it to her again when is right time..so her sms are all cold nowadays...
im actually quite faithless now,towards alot of things...
when i saw her today again..i am lost for words,just feel that is no longer the same,she n i,its either she dislikes me or i dislike her,nothing more,i tried my best not to talk to her or look at her today already..i hope im doing good ya...
well,all i can say is its affecting me alot,alot more than wat ppl could think of..but i think i should thank stella for her words of wisdom today..i know its all the attack from the evil one..
i can only say,i will react in this manner becase i care,i care too much..way too much..
i only have words of apology towards her,for the hurts and pains i have given her...and lots of its ok for myself...thankyou..
maybe i should just continue living my life and not bother others alrd..let her have her freedom to make friends,to be close to her friends...
thank you..
this are my felings now..

what is this?

wat kind of feelings is this??
is just too pain to bear...
when i can only stand at such a distance and look at uu..
when i can only speak to uu as a very normal friend..
which makes me even more wants to avoid uu..
but when i see uu standing there with other people, laughing away,i just feel : "Alvin Tan,Why do uu have to bring so much pain and hurt to her??why do uu have to appear in her life at dis time??why??
there is already no more true joy in me,all is fake already,the only time when i can reali smile is when im praying and worshipping god..when i couldnt see uu,and when uu are off my mind and thoughts...
the sms i received from uu,is so cold,cold till a standard dat i can feel tears whelming up in my eyes..my heart turned all soury..
before this whiole thing,it wasnt like dat,at least the msgs uu send me,it still contains some friendship feelings..now the msgs i received,i only feel hurt and pain...
i know what uu mean,but please,this is really too terrible,there is no feelings at all when uu sms me..not even abit of friendship feelings...
i will try my best to avoid sms uu and stuffs already..im praying,and god is speaking to me,uu have been a support to me all the while, now that uu are gone,i will have to learn to depend on god more,thx for ur support all this while..i just dunno whether i still have strength to go on anot..but i wanna tell uu..go on...smile on...be happy on...dun let urself dwell in too much work and forget that there is joy and fun from god...take caress lots,i will try my best,all the best to uu in ur spm..
im sorry for saying all this,but if i dun say now,i dun think i will still have chance to say liao...just take it as i've given up or wat bah,until the right time when i still have the strength to say: "i love uu, b",uu just take it that i've given up...im sorri,uu know my feelings the best,and i know urs,bt i want uu to assume can liao,just assume i have given up,so that uu wont take me as a burden ok..
anyway thx for the christmas gift..
good night..

tiring day,...

wow,spent a whole day in church helping out with the christmas deco thingy and stuffs..spray the fan and help to do the leaves,well,didnt really accomplish much la today...bt it was fun,and i also used the little bit of time to explain somethings to her..
at the end,we were discussing how to finish..then she keep insisting to bring it home to finish..of course i dont let,she has not been sleeping well because of all dis projects,so no matter wat,even if she is angry at me,i also cannot let her bring home and do...cause she will not sleep wan after dat..im sorry for saying all dis...
after dat went to a short fellowship with salem,den went to help out Aunty Yee Khim to move some stuffs from perling to rosmerah,then from rosmerah to johor jaya, then to permas jaya..is moving all those furnitures...is super tired lo..but well,steamboat tomorrow!!!
anyway,there will be a steamboat coming tommorow..hahas..thats all for today..

trip to singapore..

well,it seems like it has been a long time since i post anything...
anyway,it is busy la...
but...
i went to singapore today with yong xin, eekiat, and yi jia..
our purpose was to go shopping shopping shopping and take photos..
but..
in the end,we ended up spending most of our time in the arcade..
well,it seems like a past time for yongxin and eekiat to spend most of their time in the arcade..
anyway,we went to a few places..
first,Tampines shopping mall...(arcade)
Then,Bugis Junction...(arcade again)
Then,Bugis street...
Then,Orchard..(destination of the day...)
well,it was a enjoyable and "xia suay" trip lo...
it was fun spending time with my brothers,but yong xin keep "xia suay-ing" us,by shouting loudly and doing way crazy stuffs,which is actually his usual self..(the quiet side of him is not usual wan..hahax..)
we took alot of photos and the four of us bought a same shirt(view it at ur pleasure this sat),same pants(except yijia,who bought another shirt)...
haiz,all the photos are with eekiat,so i cant post it yet,maybe another time bah...
for the mission post,also maybe another time bah...
well dats all for now,havent actually bath yet,cause just reach home,oh ya,i forgot to mention,today was also the first day the new malaysian custom is open and operating..and well,my opinion is dat its reali reali reali troublesome to travel dat way,cause a walk from the starting point to the end of the old msia custom which usually take abt 5mins now have turn into around 20mins-30mins at the new customs including scanning of passports...wah...reali troublesome!!!!
wah,its reali late now,going to church to help out for the christmas deco thing early in the morning..going to bath then slp dyy..nitey nitez ppl!!!

cry??

found dis in my mail:

Guys cry because:

1. Girls screw them over.
2. They just got hit in the balls.
3. They're about to die.
4. Their heart is broken.
5. Because they are true men.

GIRLS: If you see a guy crying, hug him close and hold him up as he gets over the pain of getting kicked in the nuts. Tell him he's not going to die, and if he's crying over a girl, hug him && kiss him and let him know you won't screw him over and break his heart like the last girl did. Guys just want to know that our girls will be there for us to support us when we need them and help us get our mind off the pain of heartbreak, getting kicked in the balls, and knowing we're going to die.

Girls cry because :

1. They're sad.
2. They're scared.
3. They're nervous.
4. They're frustrated.
5. They're missing someone.
6. They're alone.
7. They have their period.
8. They're pregnant.
9. Their heart is broken.
10. They're in love.
11. Their souls have been torn.
12. They met a boy they can't have.
13. They fell in love with a boy.
14. They hurt so bad inside.
15. They're mad.
16. Something bad happend.
17. Just because they feel like cryinggg.
18. You make them cry
19. You say out their secret
20. You must treat them good!

BOYS: If any girl you know is crying and you see them, don't just stand there and say you're sorry. Hold them and tell them everything will be okay, even if you have no idea what is wrong with them, and kiss them softly, then wipe their tears away. Girls just want to be held and know that someone cares about them.


i dunno!!hahax..enjoy..

im ok

im ok already..
making big decisions in life is soooo hard..
sumtimes reali feels like giving all up....
to juz live a great life...
dat would be great...
but no..
the calling is definitely for me to go....
anyway..
bac to topic....
the post ytd was when im reali down...
but thx for dat "sumbody" who felt my 'downness'..
and kept praying for me....
thx...
uu r the best!!!
anyway...more updates is on its way!!
watch out people!!

giving up??

It totally sucks!!!!
all sucks...
everything...
im starting to hate life...
i dun wan to..
bt im starting to...
can i juz give up....
everything also my fault..
wan go study also wrong?!!
shit!!
talk nicely already..
still say i shout at her!!
where got shit things like dat wan??
im going crazy dyy!!!
ARH!!
realy feels like wanna leave this family..
leave this house..
stay outside..
live my own life...
bt for uu...
i cant do it...
im not sure whether im able to anot....
i wan ur parents have a goood impression of me..
ARH!!!!
who is with me now!!!
NOBODY!!!
im so alone...

bye people...
all the best...

fed up..

Im fed up working with people who like to gossip behind people's back and also being a two-headed snake!!!!

Im gonna quit soon, aunties...
so stop talking about me behind my back and also stop talking to me about people behind their backs!!!!!

IM FED UP!!!!
AND ALSO STOP ORDERING ME AROUND!!!!
IM PAID TO WORK AND SO ARE YOU!!!
YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO ORDER ME ABOUT!!!
GET LOST!!!

anyway,i cutted my hair guys....
it..
is...
damned..
UGLY!!!!

imagine..:"botak" with a patch of long hair somewhere in the middle of my head...
and guys,uu noe wat,my head is round...
DATS WHY ITS UGLY!!!!
omg....
haiz...
reali regret going there to cut...
dat guy is "jia li hai" wan siaaa....
tell him 1 kind of hair..he did another kind.....
how now i also dunno siaaaaa......
wahsss....
shikes......

prepare to be shock ya..
bye peeps....

lazy..

im so super powerfultically lazy to update..
anyway...
found dis on my frenster bulletin juz now,posted by 1 of my dear frens....dis is reali saddening...
ok..here goes:.....

Guy:"Lets have sex right now."
Girl: "Can we do what?"
Guy: "You know, can I be your first,finally?"
Girl: "Um.....no."
Guy: "Why?"
Girl: "Because, 1. you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my friend......."
Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won't tell."
Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life to be my first."
Guy: "I'm not special to you?"
Girl: "You're my friend. That's all."
Guy: looks forward and keeps driving.

5 minutes pass.......

Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh.
Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me.".
Guy: tries to kiss her.
Girl: screams, "Would you stop."
Guy: continues trying.
Girl: moves to the back seat
Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the girl.
Starts to kiss her.
Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this."
Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes."
Moves over to her and starts to unbutton her pants.
Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No,don't."
Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard to get".
Girl: crying, continues to fight.
Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down.
Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me!"
Guy: puts his hand over her mouth.

An hour passes.........

Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off.
Girl: sits on the corner of the seat,crying.
Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this.
If you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek.
Girl: pulls back, "Just take me home,now."
Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home.

2 months later.........

Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in 2 months."
Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your "time" for a reason."
Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure to receive.
Doctor: "You are pregnant."
Girl: faints.

The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking tothe Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy in the school (which was a lie).
He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you."
The Girl is completely devastated.
First, he took her virginity and got her pregnant....then he lied about it.
So completely depressed......
The Girl commits suicide by drug overdose.......


this story is utterly disgusting..........
and to think that the guy is actually attached to the victim's fren....
haiz..
the world..
haiz....

anyway..
for more updates...
u'll all have to wait...
byes peoples...

long time no updates..

sorry people for the missing updates..
well lots of things happen...
went to kukup...
went to teenz camp(port dickson)
went slacking out at shopping centres...
went starbucks drink the newest *DARK MOCHA FRAPPUCINO*!!(love it lots!!!)
went steamboating with erjie...(two of us only)
went giordano buy sweaters and shirt...and cam Whoring???(yucks,sounds so GAY)

thigs are happening so fast that dun even have time to update....
and also lazy to post photos yaya..
anyway,photos can be found here..
http://profiles.friendster.com/15708095

view the photos...
ciaoz peoples!!!

updates..

woohoo!!

its been a long time since i last updated..anyway,was teachers last friday(or thursday i think,dun remember)..well,happened somethings at our centre,but all is well,1 of my student bought doughnuts to eat with us!!!woohoo!!!

after that,sunday went up to kukup with CBC....was a fun trip(???)..hahax..well kukup pictures next post yea!!!

now for the teachers day wan...

teachers day card!!!

class photo..

nice.

without me..

my doughnut..

0o..

ahhhh....

emm,eaten half by me before remembering to snap a pic of it..

fantastic four...

close up..

close up sumore...

nice...

nice..


mango flavour wan..


i like dis alot...but its not mine..too bad..


doughnut tower!!!


awesome!!


supreme slanted..

teachers day!!!

empty already....

nice...

thoughtful..


deco...

TEACHERS DAY..(actually this card is i do wan...)hahax..

ciaoz peeps...!!

~~~***My God Reigns***~~~

NO one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.

No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE

Just 3 Words

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -
1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Three things in life that can destroy a person -
1. Anger
2. Pride
3. Unforgiveness

Three things in life that you should never lose-
1. Hope
2. Peace
3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable -
1. Love
2. Family & Friends
3. Kindness

Three things in life that are never certain -
1. Fortune
2. Success
3. Dreams

Three things that make a person -
1. Commitment
2. Sincerity
3. Hard work

Three things that are truly constant -
Father - Son - Holy Spirit

I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today; to guide you and protect you, as you go along your way. God's love is always with you, God's promises are true. And when you give God all your cares, you know God will see you through.

Pass this along to People you want God to Bless - I just did!

some fun pics...

found some pics today...

help me...im hanging on for my life..

chey..steps on blocks..

ey,watcha looking at??im busy uu noe??

oi..copycat...

dun copy me please!!!

mickey mouse??

chey,its me acting cute....

lost in hong kong...

hong kong shirt..

map of hong kong on my child's shirt..

kowloon.....

new territories...

siaogroup blog:127 post..

127 posts at may 6,2008,12:08

enjoy....

FOOD FACTOR...

nothing much to talk about in dis post...juz pics,...

tall and short,thin and fat,pink and white..

tall,thin and pink.. short,fat and white..

ice cream boat..

mouth gets watery juz by looking at it..

nice angle...

tandorri chicken...

roti butter nan...left like dat oni...

nice chickens..

garlic nans...

hey!!!whose hands are those...

is dis very girlish..???triangle??

act shy??

act cool??

is the smell awfull???

food!!!

teachers day??

i don't know why,but suddenly this student brought a few flowers in and greet us happy teachers day..wah,happy sia!!!touched...but it seems like its too early.....BUT ITS OK!!!!!

three...

action...

nice..

nice...

happy teachers day!!!

I WAN GO STEAMBOATING!!!!THE FOUR OF YOU CAN FASTER CONFIRM???HAHAX....

STEAMBOATING!!!!

i wan!!!

I AM ENLIGHTENED!!!

i know le...i know everything le...God is really amazing..
he spoke to me today during teenz...
im a guy with flaws..i make mistakes..so do everybody..nobody is perfect...so nobody judges anybody...unless uu can be proven pure and perfect..
anyway,apologises for the past few posts..i shouldn't do that,but i was very frustrated..but trust me,afetr all the thinking and much prayers yesterday and today, this is really not worth it,its not worth our friendship..satan is trying to break us up,make us not united, but all the more we have to stick together..such a small issue is not worth it to spoil our friendship..its really not worth it..thats why im acting like nothing ever happened....im sorry,but i have to be like this, or else i will be angry towards many people, call me hypocrite, or a guy wearing a mask...

anyway,for me, EVERYTHING IS OVER!!!!

feels like F***???

i just feels like whatever im doing is not right, my dear daddy god,wat game uu playin' at???
haiz,just feel very dissapointed in myself,im just a big mouth after all..i really feels like f*** right now man...i wanna give up...
okay,its not your fault,its mine,i should'nt have asked, i should'nt have been too sensitive around you, maybe i should just give myself three tight slaps around my face now ya..
sheesh~~i guess why i always look at ur face to talk is bcoz i hope uu will talk to me normally and not suddenly scold me...f***,i feel so childish now..
can i just pick a few sticks and puff it all out???
i feel so f*** up!!
I"M WRONG!!!!
SLAP ME PLEASE!!!
PLEASE CUT OUT MY DAMN TOUNGE!!!
no,uu did not cause me to not trust anybody,but my line willl be drawn..god bless people!!
remember what kind of person i am before..
remember what kind of f*** i am now..
remember what kind of freak i am in the future...
remember god's blessing on us...

you know wat kind of guy i am..i will do my very best for every friendship..i dun wish that any of my friendships will fall apart, thats why i have always been trying my best to salvage the friendship and bond among us, uu saw that and uu knew that, maybe its my fault i made a big fuss out of a small matter, but i guess i have not been depending on HIM, and my focus is always hoping uu to turn better, so my expectations were high, after time and time of discouragements and obstacles, i guess i couldn't take it after all in the end..anyway, i will still treat as nothing ever happened, call me stupid, call me brainless, but i am who i am, i treat friends more than anything in my life except god and my family..
but only 1 thing i ask of uu: "remember"....
remember me for what a f*** i am now...
thank you...

spend time and watch..

sumbody very kind shown me this video..please spend time to watch it..especially guys....

sad and dissapointed..

why like that??
why ALWAYS like that??
casually ask a casual question,also in the end get accused..
does that means next time even casual things also cannot ask??
that means i also don't want be caring for others already??
im totally discouraged man...why always like that???
yes,last time was my fault, but that does not means that i will always be like that,i only casually asked a why, i have never ever ask "WHY WHY WHY"!!!!
i didn't keep asking,i only ask 1 why,and he told me already...
haiz...this thing affected me greatly,although its such a small thing,but it has become a big thing to me already...i have learnt not to trust people anymore, people, i'm sorry, because this few months the things really made me think alot, and also i'm really discouraged by the things YOU have done,im sorry, but i will never trust the people i have once trust...
and to YOU,im sorry if you think that i should never post somethings like this,but im sorry,im still me..this few months the things have forced me into a tight corner,and whenever i wants to talk to YOU,i have to look at YOUR face first..
if i do things that YOU think is not right, i will surely get it terribly..i only ask a small thing but you made it seems like i always did like that,asking people is not a very serious matter,but its a serious matter as how you see it...if you think that i will always be like that,next time just ask your people to not tell me anything la!!!
im sick and tired at looking at your moods... i just feel that i didn't do anything wrong this time round, but i will not be concerned about things that don't concerned me anymore, just like YOU!! i will just be a 'not caring alvin' alright!!
im sorry for this post,but i just have to shout out my feelings here,especially to YOU!!i really treasure our friendship, YOU also know that, and YOU also know that i will do ANYTHING,ANYTHING, to salvage our friendship..but this time round,i'm really hurt...i'm going to give up...i don't want to explain anymore, i don't want to answer to anybody anymore...i don't want to leave church, i don't want to leave god, please don't force me to!!!

i have shouted!!!

my hair..

wadsupp?!
3 posts in a night??!!
anyway,dis is the back view of my hair..



tied up curl??


emm..better..straight


wah..let down ald so messy de??


put water to make it neat..

gt scolded for such a lomg hair..but dun tink will cut first..wait la ya...longer first..
dats all for today folks...

first time..

just finished my first ever jaming session with salem,llyod and evonne in the dedap music studio...emm,i must first thx god for letting me noe that place..secondly,thx god that there was dis place,third thx god for all the broken instruments there...the place is almost like wan kena knocked down ald la ya..the drum pedal is cannot stepped wan lo..one of the electric guitars is spoiled wan lo..but everything also must thx god la..so no complaints!!hahax.
played a few songs that are juz simply simply wan la..but note that its all church songs,like: one day,better than life,one way,how great is our god and etc etc....lead a small worship session that is like around 1 minute plus??
hahax..
but i reali quite of like enjoyed myself abit la in the end...thx god..

hahax..happy happy!!!

today was the last day for sumbody im working with....(pls refer bac to the the post,dated 25/4/08)...im so happy!!!nobody will look at me slp again!!!hahax..the pics are here!!




telling story??i hate that look..





this look tooo!!!


hahax.
anyway..
im out of trouble!!!!
happy happy!!

mighty to save-drums workshop,hillsongs..

enjoy..i aso dunno how to learn this...hahax..lolz..but like it alot...

Joseph's and Sunee's BABY!!!

Congrats to Joseph and Sunee!!

happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to louis,

happy birthday to you!!!

anyway,his name is louis lok,chinese : lu yi..

date of birth:25/4/2008..

time of birth:2.30pm..

religion:christian..

race: chinese

hahx..anyway,im happy for uu guys!!uu all are truly blessed..im excited dat this baby is out!!im nw a uncle already worrr....

anyway,pics:

sleeping?? loving family...

apple carrying louis..

cutie..

prayer is strong!!

praying for the family...

apple dun wan to let go..

anxious dad..

he is very scared he hurt the baby..

nice nice!!!

congrats weii!!!!

abit sad..

whats the meaning of five years??isit possible..dun tink going to follow,anyway,thx my bro yongxin for everything u have ever done for me..ii really appreciate it lots!!(yucks...i sound so gay!!)bt anyway..really thx!!pls let no misunderstanding come between us yaya,let us remain bros forever!!!
anyway,true love is hard to find,wat more at this age,gotta treasure everything uu have by ur side nw,in case everything flows by without waiting for uu..
to the one at work:can uu stop staring at me when i sleep?! im totally frustrated by what uu are doing!!i dunno is uu admire me or what shit,bt pls look after the CHILDREN!!!ARH!!!im gonna kill UU!!!!

prayer is important...lets continue to pray!!

friday school ministry..

WOW MAN!!! i slept at 1 am last nite and woke up at 4 am in the morning..is teruk wan lo...bt all is for the sake of god..i updated the profile on siaogroup blog and i also updated mine,as you all can see..well,i chose to wake up at 4am the reason is bcoz ive been missing C.F(christian fellowship) for quite some time,due to overslept..well,woke up and continue updating and spent a short time praying..because of my past records(woke up late),uncle gideon is also afraid of my time already and also today he is bringing the two thai pastor to S.E.T.A,he cannot afford to waste time to wait for me and fetch me,and as i really wanted to go,i made myself woke up reali early(did uu just felt a tinge of sincerity running down ur spine??) just to wait for 6.15am..hahx..so in the end,i only slept 3hrs..now im totally beat already..anyway,he came to fetch me in the end and we went to church to fetch the pastors then headed straight down..anyway,C.F was like so-so..michelle ong is like very fierce when leading the praise and worship..hahx..nearly scared me out of my skin..hahx..but all went well,one of the girls,lizanne i tink,shared her testimony(abit too long and draggy),which was great though,and the wife of the pastor shared about her ministry in thailand,which was very amazing,and we ended with the song,then the thai pastors took a picture with a group of students outside the lab,and also with a group of malay girls wearing TUDUNGS,they were like snapping photos here,there,everywhere..hahx..lolz..then we went for breakfast with puan lee and puan chia..nasi lemak..which made me ended up with stomachache..but the thai pastors were great,they even stayed back in the school to watch the teachers teach!!!lolz..i guess that is all for today...today only 1 pic..

hahax.

xianz..

very xianz in church dat day..so drew some of my masterpeices onto the back of sarah's new foolscap pad..hahax..which after dat got her into some small troubles...hahx..

pics:

My masterpeice..

look carefully...

emm..money??

ee..little miss sarah??hahx..

merepek and the merepekers..

sarah..uu pekcek??

jesus loves uu n me..god will make a way..

teenz tortoise??raymond's depict of it..

sarah wrote dis for her not to get in trouble..

love god!!

smileys..

masterpeice!!!

more post ltr..pls wait!!

anyway,this are the photos for the planetshakers concert in singapore on the 10th of april..sorry for the late post yea...was fun,30+ of us..reach jb around 11.30pm..very beat when reach home yea..but evrybody reali enjoyed it yea!!!

enough talk..photos..

waiting for bus..

f4??


traffic junction..


mrt..


reflection..


take 1..middle finger??


take 2..bag??


take 3..nice..looking at what..


emm..


concert time..


2..


worship central celebration..


stage..


hahx..

2..


stage..


starting time..


testimony..


testimony..taken when nobody is looking...


1 more..


another 1..


group photo..


grp photo 2..


grp photo 3..

grp photo 4..

oops,look awkward..

hahx..

reflection..

reflection..

xianz...

whose hand is dat wor???

pls la ya..








escalator!!!

blur apple and puii..


oops..

vic,wat uu doing again man??

the two photographers..

emm..an emo guy..dunno..

anyway,enjoyable night..bt sorry for the late post guys..

blessed..

knew sumtings yesterday in church..
let me left church feeling all very troubled!!!
yy do people like to spread the things of other people around???isit very funny??or very edifying??or very"christlike"??? i hope the person who has been spreading is reading this...whatever happens in my life or 'other' people life is our own business..does spreading around gain anything for uu all??money??uu all are nobody to peoples life..if uu all reali like spreading things,do uu noe that will cause people to leave church??thx god im a teenz leader and also in a few ministries and i also know that i come to church is for god,not for people,or else i already have left..

but i will leave all behind me..juz to let uu all others know..spreading people things around is not edifying,not building any relationships,not funny and not christlike!!!but is very trouble wrecking!!!pls stop yea!!!im like dat also in the past,but ive since learnt my ways..so dont walk the same path as me,when 1 day nobody ever trust uu again,nobody ever tell uu anything again..

god bless to uu all..
god bless me..

everything sharks!!!
pls stop!!
whatever!!!

cleared up

Finally i cleared up with everybody and u also cleared up with ur leaders..im feeling very peaceful and glad dat i am able to face dis problem before its even started..
let us continue remain as frens more..and use dis times to observe each other and get to know each other i hope all my frens dat noes dis things will not feel awkward around us or try to stop us from being frens..i reali pray for all of uu all de blessings on dis whole thing..i believe dat when dis thing is in light..we are obeying god..so when we are obeying god..everything wil turn out successfull though..glad dat we could come to terms,remember if anything ever happens in the future(which is not what im hoping for),we are to bless each other...
lets leave dis whole thing in god's hand,continue to pray,continue to be open to everybody,we hv no commitment to each other,so lets not try to meet each other's standards..i also hope dat this feeling will not die off..lets reali pray..seek his kingdom first above all things,and everything will be granted to uu abundantly..and i also hope dat uu will be able to focus on ur studies first..if uu reali wants dis things to work out,den uu and ii muz both study reali hard..so that we may be able to be in the same area or place..i remember vic telling me dat,when i will be studying,i muz reali work hard,coz im studying for god and also studying for uu,coz i will want to provide uu with a good future..so ii also want uu to focus on ur ministries and also on god..lets leave it in god's hand and we wait...let time tell everything..if in the future,our feelings is still there,den we may den discuss what step to take and aso pray about it den..but now lets not have any commitment and also lets all keep praying..im very happy and glad dat we could have this kind of deals among us..and that our leaders trusts us..so lets work hard and draw even more strength from god...and remain as best frens...

work hard,wait,trust in god,pray,PUSH!!!!!

alvin..

god,pls take over...
i tink its all my fault...
i should not have asked uu in the first place..i should not have tell others..i should not have replied uu..i should not have said wait...everything is my fault...feel like slapping myself in my own face!!! arh!!IM GOING CRAZY!!!
pls dun cry..when uuu cry..i feel like crying too..dats yy i left early..i dunno wat to say..im too sad till i cant make uu smile again..im sorry for not able to comfort uu..sorry for hurting uu...im the worst.create trouble for everybody when everything is ok,create a mess out of everything...wat is the meaning of time..we r not together yet..wat is time???i dun understand...

sharks....shucks....

i feel like an asshole...

SORRY AGAIN..

wat to do??

i feel shucks...

no sub..

very xianzzz..duno wat to do...ee,been feeling nt very well dis few days..
but uu are there to encourage me and pray for me..
thank you..im reali touched by you..uu are reali sweet..
anyway,remember we have to draw nearer to god everyday..
and dat everything have to hand it to god,uu want to face things den uu better have the courage..i wil be beside uu..and dont worry,we have to put on the armour of god to face allthis things..i will put on mine first,and if uu do not have the strength to put it on,im ready to help uu put on anytime!!!
hand it to jesus..hand it to god!!!
anyway..thx for everything and dis few days..pls dun be sad..i will be sad if uu are sad de..ur smile lift my spirit up!!smile!!uu look good!!!alrite..hope uu are always ok!!!

anyway..

I'm still sorry for wadever la..

but anyway..im leaving it all to god..if it is den it is..if its not den its not..

but im very happy la..coz because of this issue..im drawing even closer to god and doing my TAWG on DAILY BASIS!!!i'm drawing strength dunno frm where weii..

may everything be god's will yea..but stil sorry..

anyway i did dis when i was bored..:

any way..im bored...ciaoz..

trouble..

1 word: sorry!!!





p.s: dis is for 26/3 post...

cleared..

Wah,feel reeeaaallliii GREAT!!!!
finally cleared things with her...may god bless us abundantly..
my bros and sis...thx for ur support,encouragement and blessings...
luv ya all!!!
anyway,let the both of us continue to pray..let our feelings nt die down..wait for each other..
i'm very touched by the conversation last nite..i hope dat everything is as planned..
realli hope dat can be able see uu everyday sia..
nvm..let us persevere on in our ministries ,serving and loving god!!!
encouragement and support!!!


I FEEL GOOD!!!!

GOD,i will love uu forever...thx for ur confirmation time and again..and thx for letting me noe her and meet her..


UU are the one for me...waiting for uu..let us strive on..


loves...

wow..busy weeek...

Dis had been a busy weekend..

On thurs, Fri and Sat there was Bill newman rally:

He was reali a annointed speaker of God sia!!!!reali learnt alot..especially on the service on sat,teenagers,be aware of the sins dat satan is tempting us to do!!!

YOUTH AFLAME!!!!!

sunday nitez dere was JOSHUA CAMP 13TH GRADUATION NITEZ...

went to Jusco with puii, vic lum and weiwan (liow BAO BAO) to get stuffs for the graduates from our church, and also went to vivo for a cup of tea, where vic said he wanted to study there but in the end, he ended up chatting with puii for 2 hrs while me and the baobao went to shopped for the things.here are some photos i took in vivo when we nothing to do..hahax..

dis is wat vic depicts of Bao bao face..

and i crushed it..wakakax..

den i used the bits to act as a deco for my coffee like weiwans watermelon drink..hahax..


hehex....

the bill....jialat...

JOSHUA 13TH GRADUATION

then rite after dis..we went straight back to church...for the...GRADUATION!!!

wow..the dance,the drama,the everything was great man!!!!!

and i aso met back my batch of JOSHUA 12th frends!!!

photos again!!!

HEY,five of uu!!!!

heyhey..connie trying to make me look good...at failed attempt..

connie again....and the guys!!!!albert and frey trying to act!!!

Quinnie and sok weii...

anyway,it had been a fun and busy weekend...wish ya guys all the best!!!

good job JOSHUA 13TH!!!!!continue shine for GOD!!!

hope to see ya guys from JOSHUA 12TH again..

By the way..Bao bao...thx for helping out at the gifts!!!

ur styrofoam face also looks good!!wakakas!!!

signing off,alvin..

concert!!!

wow!!concert was reali reali great!!!

the first time i've ever saw so may ppl in our concert!!!alot of youths!!

nvm..look for the post in teenz website ya..

the rest below is photos..not going to say anymore..

WOAH!!!!!!

PRE RECORDING!!!

WOAH!!!!CHOIR!!!WELL DONE!!!!

NICE!!!!

SORRY FOR THE BLUR PHOTOS GUYS>>>

WOAH!!!

GOD's AMAZING!!!!

SO MANY PPL,SO MANY TEENZ!!!!!

PLS GO ON TO: TEENZALBUM.BLOGSPOT.COM

FGCTEENZ.COM

CIAOZ>>>

hahax..HAPPY bdae PUII !!!

So many things happens so recently..Im afraid that i will not be able to elaborate on the street E's and Gospel station's things here..uu all will have to visit : to noe the details..but for the below,I will have to elaborate!! ITS BEEN AN EXCITING WEEK AND WEEKEND!!!!

here are some photos:

priscilla stirring and mixing!! now is weiwan's turn!!!

poor flour and sugar..

flaming hot!!!
the cake is baking in the oven,chocolate on top melting!!!


yhucks.. wats dat?! see wat see?! never see me blur before arh!!!hahax..

hellloooo...no using fingers please.. somemore lick it...ew!!like shits....

taking a break and started doing puii's card.. for u puii!!!

dunno which clever person say let it cool under the aircon..lol..ur cake puii..

chocolate not finished melting..

pouring in of hot water to melt the chocolate..

stirring the chocolate..at last melt ald..

like shit...

look nicer abit le..hahax..

hahax...nice!!!


at last aso finish dis le...

with icing sugar and shit-like cream..

shit-like cream "puii"..sorry..

hey!!look nice!!!

happy not!!??

declaration!!!

dun cry puii...

hahax...so touched!!

blown cake..

hard as rock..thx alpha!!

at last cut le...so hard to cut sia...

the pretty ladies!!!

YES!!!last sat was pei pei's bdae!!!spent fri nite at wei wan's hs doing and baking the cake..(although i didn't do much larh)..when i brought out the cake to puii dat day,she was shocked!!And also we all felt that she was reali touched!!dun worry pui..we understand wat had happened to u..we dun hold it against uu..dun worry..it was fun weii!!!

to weiwan and priss: thx for ur willingness to do so many things..reali touched by uu two also..hahax..

hahax..happy birthday puii!!!!

ciaoz....

hahaxxx..

dis week is realli very xianzzz....
schools holidays..so dun need work...
realli xianzz..
waiting for concert to come..
haiz,,
wish can blog more..
hehes..

hais....dissapointed..

Im really dissapointed by things that have been happening recently...haiz...and aso of my delayed post..alrite..first things first...

1. my relationship with god...
2.my relationship with my family members..
3.my relationship with my friends..
4.my relationship with people..
5.my relationship problems..


1.my relationship with god..
recently,my TAWG is deteoriating,focus is nt there when doing...haizzz....sumbody tell me wat to do...but thinking of having a fast and pray for my country,my friends,my cellgroup,and other gospel activities coming up soon..plannong to do it for every lunch on a weekly basis.....may god gv me the strength...people who are reading this post,pls help me pray for my TAWG ya...and those who are interested to join me for the fast and pray..sms me pls...


2.my relationship with my family
Im abit worried about my relationship with my family..cause i feel that im too busy for them and that they are not very happy with it ald..but im trying my best to secure the relationship..pls pray for me too..

3.my relationship with my friends..
Actually im still quite happy with this aspect coz i can say that i seldom treat my friends fakely..im always sincere with them..and i also thank god that he place really sincere and true friends around me..and also blessed me with lots of very good friends..But the problem is I always cannot control my mouth and i will always blabber off and hurt people around me..i apologise for that..but im still learning in that aspect..pls pray for me,my friends..

4.my relationship with people..
im praying to god right now to gv me the gift of speaking so that i can make friends with people all around me and not offend them..i thank god that he had blessed me with good sociallity skills and also a kind "face"...wakakas...so juz keep praying ya...

5.my relationships problems..
hais...this reali gv me a real headache...recently juz know that sumbody is interested in me...and also the old problems is crashing in on me...god...pls gv me peace god..i knew nt wat i was doing last time..god,take away my probs god...
I still like her alot and aso keep thinking of her often..although its not wat i should be doing,but i cannot control..god wat is happening..she have a boyfriend nw ald..and also her sister will nt agree with us..thought of gving up before..but could not do it..haiz..wat should i do???i think all i hv to do is to let go... yes,its uu...
I HATE SMSING!!!!!!sms cause me lots of probs!!!!
IM TERRIBLY SORRY....

TO UU GOD>>>IM EXTREMELY SORRY.....

GOD HELP ME!!!!!!

so long...

Sorry for late post..somethings happened..



My granny is gone...
went up back to penang to see to her funeral..
she passed away two days before CNY..went back dat time,was not tinking of how to react,but when my dad's car is nearing my granny's house..Suddenly my heart thumped very fast and hard against my chest,i was worrying about how to look into my granny's face..when i stepped into the house,the coffin was closed up,although i could not see my granny's face,but a sudden rush of guilt and unforgiveness came into my heart..i suddenly burst out crying..i kept sending msg bac to all my loving bro's n sis's to look for support and encouragement..den after the funeral,(which consists of many chinese rites),alot of bickering and snatching of assets..
haiz...xianz...
why cant uu all let her REST IN PEACE?!
then few days after dat went to thailand:haadyai to play..
things is realy expensive untilllll......
all the thai ppl is out to 'TOK' the singaporeans only..(coz gt alot singaporeans there mah..)
so they also "accidentally" 'TOK' us MALAYSIANS also lo..
but that place quite fun la..treated my mum to thai massage for TWO HOURS!!! IS SHIOK DE LOH!!! hahas..


alrite..
signing off le..

confused..

been praying recently..
hope god can reveal to me what he wants me to do..
hope to serve in creative ministry:DRAMA..
dont know how leii..
anyway,leave it to god lo..
sunway A'levels...
also dun noe how arh..


haizzz....

haiz..

feels very frustrated..
coz i dun noe wat to do anymore..
who can tell me???!!!

hihi

Officially launching this BLOG!!!

Hi guys,this is my new BLOG!!!!

new blog from me...

weeee!!!new blog!!!